
Marie Curie
Last week we talked about being authentic and its relationship to success in life and interviewing. Part of that discussion involved the need for confidence and credibility. Sometimes those qualities come from seeking assistance from others, but why don’t we do it at times? How is it viewed? Asking is important because of its impact on interviewing, and life in general.
A main theme in interviewing that we need to pay attention to is the subject of fear. Fear that the interviewee is experiencing as well as the fear that you are experiencing in the interview room. That fear can subvert success and production. That fear can keep someone from telling you the truth as well. Are you prepared to recognize that fear and effectively deal with it?
Struggles and obstacles are a part of life that everyone deals with at some point or another throughout life. We can’t avoid them, and those events can produce fear.
Some people know the benefits of asking for help, yet others hold themselves back and suffer silently. Whether you are struggling in your professional or personal life, not asking for the help you need can be detrimental to your success. The fear of asking for help can stem from various reasons, and it varies from person to person. Some common factors include:
- Pride Stands in the Way: People who are independent by nature or have a type A personality tend to struggle when it comes to asking for help when they really need it because they believe they should do everything themselves. Often, this can become a detriment to them and others around them who are dependent on them. While independence is a great trait to have, the pride that comes with it can get in the way of getting things accomplished promptly. It may take you twice as long to solve a problem as it would if you asked for help. It may be honorable to be independent; however, you may be hurting yourself more than you realize when you let pride stand in the way.
- Fear of Rejection: The fear of rejection is a big reason people don’t ask others for help when they need it. These people are so wrapped up in their concern that they convince themselves that everyone will say “no” to whatever they ask, so it is better not to ask in the first place. By not asking for help because you believe the other person will reject you, you tell them you do not think they care enough to help. This shows an insecurity that will keep you from accomplishing your goals and keep others from connecting with you on a closer level.
- Fear of Being Exposed As an Imposter: Imposter syndrome is a phrase used to describe people who go through their lives doing what needs to be done, all the while feeling they will be exposed as a fraud. They may be having success, but they think it is more luck than any real skill or knowledge that has gotten them thus far. This fear of feeling like an imposter can grow to a point where it is difficult to ask others for help because they may be exposed. This fear can have detrimental effects on a person’s personal and professional life because they cannot ask others for help.
- Fear of Judgement: People may worry about being judged or perceived as weak or incapable if they seek help. There might be a fear of others thinking less of them.
- Independence and Self-Reliance: Society often values independence and self-reliance. Some individuals may feel that asking for help signifies a lack of independence or an inability to handle things on their own.
- Vulnerability: Seeking help often requires opening up about personal struggles or challenges, making oneself vulnerable. This vulnerability can be uncomfortable for some individuals.
- Cultural or Social Stigma: Cultural or societal norms may discourage asking for help. Some cultures place a high value on self-sufficiency, which can make it challenging for individuals to seek assistance.
- Previous Negative Experiences: Past experiences where seeking help led to negative outcomes or being let down may contribute to the fear of asking for help.
- Perceived Burden: Individuals may fear that asking for help will burden others or create an inconvenience. This concern can be especially strong if someone values their independence.
- Lack of Trust: Trust is a crucial factor in seeking help. If someone has a lack of trust in others, they may be hesitant to ask for assistance.
Overall, when you get into a situation where you need help but hesitate, you may be experiencing one or more of the above reasons. Overcoming these fears and insecurities can help you move into the life you have always wanted for yourself and the success you deserve.
Why are we so afraid to ask for help?
“Fear is an insidious virus. Given a breeding place in our minds … it will eat away our spirit and block the forward path of our endeavors.”
It’s essential to recognize that asking for help is a sign of strength and self-awareness. Everyone faces challenges, and seeking support is a healthy and normal part of life. Encouraging open communication and reducing the stigma around asking for help can contribute to a more supportive and understanding environment, despite anything you have been taught or learned.
How is asking for assistance a sign of strength and not a weakness?
Asking for assistance is a sign of strength for numerous reasons:
- Self-Awareness: Recognizing one’s limitations and acknowledging the need for help requires self-awareness. It takes strength to understand and accept that everyone has areas where they may need support.
- Courage: Overcoming the fear of vulnerability and reaching out for help requires courage. It’s an act of courage to admit that you don’t have all the answers or that you’re facing challenges. Not doing this is a sign of arrogance.
- Humility: Seeking assistance demonstrates humility by acknowledging that no one is perfect, and everyone can benefit from the expertise or support of others. It involves setting aside ego and embracing a humble attitude.
- Learning and Growth: Asking for help is an opportunity for learning and personal growth. It shows a willingness to learn from others, improve oneself, and develop new skills. This proactive approach is a testament to one’s commitment to personal development.
- Building Connections: Seeking assistance fosters connections with others. It strengthens relationships by creating an environment of mutual support and collaboration. Building a network of supportive individuals contributes to overall well-being.
- Resilience: Recognizing challenges and seeking help to overcome them demonstrates resilience. It’s a proactive response to difficulties, showing the ability to bounce back and navigate through obstacles.
- Effective Problem-Solving: Knowing when to ask for help is a skill that reflects effective problem-solving. It’s about leveraging collective knowledge and resources to find solutions, making the process more efficient and successful.
- Community and Interdependence: Understanding that we are part of a community, and that interdependence is a natural aspect of human life is a sign of emotional intelligence. It reflects an awareness of the interconnectedness of individuals and the importance of supporting each other.
Asking for assistance is a strength because it involves traits such as self-awareness, courage, humility, a commitment to growth, and effective interpersonal skills. It’s a positive and proactive approach to facing challenges, leading to personal and collective well-being.
The results of not being willing to ask for help are detrimental to personal well-being, relationships, and professional success. Embracing self-awareness and humility and recognizing when you need assistance, on the other hand, can lead to a more fulfilling, successful, and meaningful life. When you examine yourself, personally and professionally, where are you at? Do you need to make some changes? Do you need to find what is holding you back from collaborating?
Anderson Investigative Associates is positioned to custom-tailor training to your specific needs. If you have any questions or would like to discuss the above issue of asking for help and fear or any training need, please reach out. Additional issues pertaining to interviewing, auditing, and investigations can be found in other blogs and videos that I have produced and are contained in most blocks of instruction that our company presents.
If you have additional questions, comments, or have an interviewing topic you would like me to address, give me a shout. I would love to hear from you. In the meantime, be well, stay safe out there, and get rid of the fear that keeps you from asking for help and moving ahead….it will improve many dimensions of your life.
Mark A. Anderson
Director of Training and Development
Anderson Investigative Associates, llc
114 Loucks Avenue
Scottdale, PA 15683
manderson@andersoninvestigative.com
tel:912-571-6686